Sunday, May 25, 2008

Everybody Votes Channel - Results

This week on EVC we explore the phenomenon of the irrationally diverse results map.

I’m better at . . .
Swimming (47.6%) or Running (52.4%)

Wouldn’t it be great if we could say that the states who went pink in this poll are states that have amazing swimming programs or are the homes of the finest Olympic swimmers? It would, but that isn’t the case (Michael Phelps is from Maryland, Amanda Weir is from Minnesota.) This map represents something truly remarkable actually: an absolutely random set of answers. Thinking you’re better at swimming or running isn’t effected by your geographic location. One would think that the southern states have more swimmers because of the weather but apparently the advent and dispersion of the heated swimming pool has eliminated that discrepancy. At lease we’ve learned that females think they are better at swimming than running. I wonder if there’s any truth to that, or do they just like wearing swimsuits more than running shorts?

Lesson learned: Girls like to get wet.

How would you describe your daily diet?
Healthy (48.5%) or Unhealthy (51.5%)

Another 50/50 split. In this day of heightened health consciousness one would think that more Wii users would respond with “healthy.” They are hip and cool and health-savvy, guess not. As far as geography goes let’s just say it’s safe to assume that the Northeast is simply unable to live with any other concept of eating besides healthy. We at gK know that this area of the USA is hyped up on the health-food scene, heck - we are the scene, so that part of the map makes sense. But, why is Colorado, Oregon and Florida pink? Colorado is full of yuppies so that’s that and Florida is full of senior citizen Wii users… obviously. What about Oregon? Must be the hazelnuts.

Lesson learned: Old people like Wii.

Do you believe horoscopes are accurate?
Yes (26%) or No (74%)

Really? A quarter of the EVC population thinks randomly generated blurbs about how your day will go are accurate? And the number is even higher in the most cynical state, NY? We truly do learn something new every week on the EVC, thank you Nintendo.

Lesson learned: 75% of females don’t actually believe in horoscopes and astrology. Wow.

That’s all for our EVC roundup this week. Hopefully you learned something, or maybe more (things.)

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Everybody Votes Channel - Results

This week on EVC we dive into poorly worded, silly, and trick questions. Pretty much your typical week of EVC.

I prefer to . . .
Save loose change (66.4%) or Spend loose change (33.6%)

So, here’s what happened: most people realized that to actually buy anything other than a stick of gum (can you even do that?) with loose change you would have to save it, thus pink wins this round. But seriously, if it’s loose, isn’t it already saved? Saved in-between your couch cushions and under the seat of your car. Wouldn’t it have been better if they hadn’t used the word “loose?” Sometimes less is more Mr. Nintendo.

Have you ever celebrated National Corn-Dog Day?
Yes (6.7%) or No (93.3%)

I think the numbers speak for themselves. This question is absurd.

Can an elephant purr like a cat?
Yes (29.5%) or No (70.5%)

OK. We’ve figured out what’s going on here. This is a test: a psychological test courtesy of your friends at Nintendo. They’re seeing if people will say yes to a question even if they know that it’s a ridiculously impossible answer to their ridiculously ridiculous question. Come on, elephants purring? What? At least ask us if an elephant can paint. Or how about, are elephants afraid of mice?

Well, guess what. This question wasn’t the typical “no right answer” type of question. Apparently elephants communicate by purring and the EVC was just trying to find out how many us knew that, or thought we knew it. Still kinda whack. Check out all the people who “cheated.” Nice.

(World Poll) Are you doing anything to counter global warming?
Yes (57.6%) or No (42.4%)

Anything sure can be anything with this one. Recycling a soda can or using a reusable shopping bag, so it’s not surprising that “yes” won out. What is surprising is that the USA was at the bottom end of the country list for “no.” Not in the bottom 4 but pretty close to it. What the hell America, isn’t global warming our game? Perhaps people just think they need to do something crazy to “counter” it?

That’s all for this week’s EVC extravaganza. Tune in next Sunday for more inane commentary and post your thoughts and prayers in the meantime.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Everybody Votes Channel - Results

There seems to be a shortage of websites that keep track of the results from the Everybody Votes Channel on the Wii so we've decided to step up to the plate and attempt to keep track of the EVC using screenshots and salty commentary. The first post (this one) will backtrack a bit and from this point forward, every Sunday, GK will post up the latest results.

On to the screenshots (clicking one will open up a larger version which includes a lightbox/gallery feature to browse through all the screenshots of that particular post):

Have you traveled further than 100 miles to attend a sporting event?
Yes (40.4%) or Never (59.5%)

The results from this question should be easy to analyze. All the pink regions are states which don’t happen to have any professional sports teams in their state: Montana, Wyoming, N. Dakota, S. Dakota, Nebraska, Iowa, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, and W. Virginia. But hey, wait, there are other states that don’t have pro teams (see interesting map here and here) like Idaho, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Delaware, South Carolina, Kansas (apparently the Kansas teams play for Missouri), Nevada, Virginia, Wyoming, Alaska, and Hawaii. Why aren’t these states pink on the map? For some it’s simply too far, other’s its closer than 100 miles, but for the rest we’re just going to assume that they don’t care to root for another state’s team in person because they’d rather have their own! Although, let’s be honest: people in Idaho are definitely too busy growing potatoes to be worrying about sports.

Which leads to more personal success?
Who you know (41.1%) or What you know (57.9%)

Nationally everyone seems to agree that what you know is the key to success. GK is impressed at the lack of cynicism that Americans possess. If you talk to anyone in the business world they’ll all tell you the same thing: “It’s not what you know but who you know!” Perhaps the EVC community lacks a majority of people who have an MBA or maybe the world isn’t as evil as everyone claims it is? Maybe most voters don’t define success as a high paying job and the corner office but a loving family? However it would be pretty hard to apply these 2 answer options to that vision of success. What’s interesting is only 50% of people guessed correctly: so all the cynical people think everyone else isn’t and vice-a-versa?!

If you could fast-forward time, would you?
Yes (46.2%) or No (52.8%)

Everyone seems pretty split on this one. It is, after all, a deeply personal psychological question… or something. The interesting thing to note is NY, NJ, DC, and DE responses. Sure, they aren’t dark pink but they still had a majority of responses in the “yes” category. This statistic is attributed to what we call the GTA syndrome. The ambitious residents of these states regret all the evil GTA-like things they have done in their lifetimes and want to fast-forward to the end of the game where you own all the property and have all the money. Females don’t play as much GTA as men hence the 10% lower results for “yes.”

I’d prefer to live in a house that has a . . .
Swimming pool (54.3%) or Large backyard (45.7%)

Another fairly even split here except for a few choice northern states. Although their populations are too low to influence the national numbers enough to swing their choice into the majority it is clear that people who already have large backyards didn’t get them by accident. On the other front: people in Alabama really, really want a freakin’ swimming pool (indoor preferably.)

Do you prefer rain or snow?
Rain (35.8%) or Snow (64.2%)

People want what they can’t have, or don’t have much of, or just what they don’t have too much of. The map get’s greener as you go further south and so does the temperature and the amount of snow these places get. Coincidence? We think not. You should note that females enjoy rain more than males. This is because of things like the rain scene in “The Notebook.” Yep, that’s pretty much it.

Do you ride to work/school . . .
Alone (50.1%) or In a car pool/bus (49.9%)

What about mass transit? Is that like a really organized car pool? Predictably people assumed this was the case as the Tri-state and DC-metro areas are heavily green with their superb public transportation systems. We here at GK are not as well-versed in the public transportation system of Washington state but apparently it’s good enough to give the state a bright green color on the EVC map! We’re also going to have to assume that a lot of poorer people in Georgia & Illinois are using the public transit system in Atlanta & Chicago enough to sway those states to green. Feel free to chime in with their observations/analysis... this one is kinda interesting.

Which do you prefer?
Cake (60%) or Pie (39.3%)

One word for you: Portal. There will be cake. Oh yea, F you and your pies Vermont!

Would you continue to work if you won the lottery?
Yes (56.1%) or No (43.9%)

Well, well, well… turns out that most EVC users are bat-shit nuts. Why else would over half of people respond “yes” to this question? Why? Are they assuming that the lottery in question is a small jackpot or something? Dream big people. 50 million dollars. How’s that? Will you quit now? Maybe they just read the question wrong. Yea. That must be it. They read it as “Would you quit work if you won the lotto?” That’s how most people assume the question would be phrased anyway. Now it makes sense.

Well. That’s all for this roundup. Check the next post for the latest EVC results and in-depth analysis!