Kevin Rose, you silly internet celebrity, you. News of Kevin Rose supposedly “shaving” his head for charity recently made its way to the front page of Digg – likely a case of people digging something before actually watching the video clip. If you’ve seen the video (part 1, 2, 3) then you know why Kevin isn’t the only one to use head shaving as a tactic to win a bet. The definition of shave, please?
Intro! Wait, that’s where a piece of super-exciting intro text is supposed to go. Oh, here it is. This week on geeKeWL’s EVC roundup we learn about crooked teeth, naïve voters, and greedy eBay profiteers! Don’t believe us? Well… the proof is literally in the pudding – that is, if the pudding is the next few paragraphs and the proof is in our imagination. Read on would’ya?
1.
Have you ever had braces on your teeth?
Yes (33.2%) or No (66.8%)
So this isn’t the first time that we get a non opinion-based question on the EVC; probably not the last time either. Here at gK we usually held the opinion that these types of questions don’t really belong on the EVC. Why? Well, when you can determine the answer to a question by going to Google (such as with the “Can an elephant purr like a cat?” question) then it sort of defeats the purpose of asking the question on EVC – or does it? The thing is this: even if there’s a “right” answer that doesn’t mean we can’t find out what people think is the right answer, or what people have experienced, etc.
So the majority of people have not had braces; that’s kind of interesting! To us It felt like everyone got braces as a kid, perhaps it’s a northeastern phenomenon?
Lesson Learned: EVC users have naturally straight (crooked?) teeth.
2.
How well do you know the candidates running for president?
Not very well (53.3%) or Know their positions (46.7%)
How well do we have to know to know well? This one split pretty evenly, but why? Are people unable to tell the difference between McCain and Obama? You know… one is old, one is dark skinned, oh wait those aren’t positions they’re dispositions. Woops! What about positions then? One is pro-war, one is anti-war. One is for universal healthcare, one is against it. Is it really so hard to guess which is which?
Maybe the problem isn’t finding a distinction between the candidates but rather determining what their positions actually are at any given moment. Both candidates, heck all politicians in general, are guilty of being very hard to pinpoint when it comes to specific positions on specific issues. When you look at it that way the results start to make sense, in fact they seem to be too generously green if anything!
Lesson learned: Idaho, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Georgia are soooooooo cute.
3.
Have you ever convinced another person to buy a Wii console?
Yes (49.5%) or No (50.5%)
Whoa, this was close! These results are truly fascinating, if for no other reason than their complete randomness. Green states here, pink states there, a pale colored state-an-everywhere! But, actually, only a handful of states went far enough into the “yes” category to go pink on the map. Must be higher a larger population of the EVC residing in pink states such as CA, CO, NY and FL to offset all those dirty Wii-greedy green states. “We dun wanna tell our friends about the Wii cuz we want more for ourselves so we can sell dem on der eBay!” Not quite, but we think we know where the “hip” states are, a-yup.
Lesson learned: Convincing isn’t as effective without monetary influence.
Blam! Multicolored EVC maps FTW! This week was full of ‘em! (Well two outta three aint bad, eh?) Still, we had a nice variety of questions that pretty much confirmed that none of us know, or are sure of, anything (except the lack of metal to ever be glued to our teeth).
What do blogging, Spanish, sharing, and attractive people all have in common? Well, uh, nothing –except they’re all topics covered in this week’s Everybody Votes Channel roundup!
At this time next year, blogging will be . . .
More popular (62.3%) or Less popular (37.7%)
Blogging… hmm, isn’t that what this site is? So everyone thinks blogging is on the up and up, everyone that is except for Colorado, West Virginia, Connecticut, and Rhode Island… huh? What’s up with these states and their irreverence towards blogging? Maybe blogging is fizzling out in these states and they’re on to the next big thing: dlogging. It’s a log of what’s on your mind, but instead of writing it you just scan your brain with a brain scanner and it outputs a log of what you have going on inside of your head. Uh, yea.
Lesson Learned: Blogging is still cool.
Which is more difficult to learn?
A foreign language (76.7%) or A musical instrument (23.3%)
Rosetta Stone would say otherwise but most of the EVC population feels like learning a language is pretty hard compared to learning how to play an instrument. Part of the problem with this question was the lack of detail in what kind of instrument we’re talking about here – some are easier than others you know. But, either way, learning a new language is hard, especially for ND, SD, NE, and MN!
Lesson learned: Playing the triangle is easy!
Sharing an entrée at a restaurant?
Rude (18.6%) or Not rude (81.4%)
Thank you! Thank you EVC population! It’s almost like everyone out there thinks that everyone else out there thinks that doing this is rude, but this proves that no one actually thinks that it is – so start sharing! What fun is it to go to an expensive restaurant and not try your companion’s food? That’s what it’s all about! With food prices the way they are it might be time to start getting 1 entrée for 2 people and sharing it like that. It isn’t rude, dig in!
Lesson learned: Females like donating their food more than males.
(World Poll) Do you like having your photo taken?
Yes (46.7%) or No (53.3%)
Irony strikes again. Aren’t the Japanese known for their avid tourism and photography taking population? Japanese people loveeee to take pictures but apparently hate to have their own picture taken! So, next time you see a Japanese tourist – take their picture. Either they will melt, run away, or beat you up – either way it should be pretty fun. In other news it looks like people in South America are not camera shy at all, perhaps even a bit vain? Either way this was actually a fairly interesting topic for a world question, especially considering how close the results ended up being. USA was somewhere in the middle again.
Lesson Learned: People from South American countries are hot!
So there you have it, another action-packed roundup of EVC results. This week we learned that what the world needs most right now is an international blog, written in Spanish, about the best restaurants to share your dish in. Someone get on that!
Everyone knows Metal Gear Solid 4 has a ton of cut scenes, over 90minutes worth by some estimates. So why are Sony and Konami trying to pass this self-congratulatory vision of a single man off as a video game? It’s more of a movie that requires you to interact with it than a game. Not so much because of the in game cinematics but more so because it’s whole creation and existence is ultimately the vision of just one man: Hideo Kojima. Much like a film, where the director’s vision forms the overall look, feel, and message does this game creator’s vision reign over the final product.
Video games are supposed to be about the player. Perhaps this is a breakthrough concept in defining what the video game genre is, but that doesn’t mean it’s actually enhancing the experience of gaming. Personally, I like a game that you can pick up, play for a while, and disengage from. Even if that game is a sequel in a series or part of some larger franchise. Take Halo for example. I’m not saying Halo is the be all end all of gaming but it’s a fun game that you can play, at any point in the series, and enjoy without following all the character development stages or larger storylines. Some might consider this a flaw in the storytelling that Halo attempts but I think that balancing plot, art direction, and interactivity is the key to making a great video game.
Metal Gear isn’t about the average gamer. It’s geared towards fans of the series who know all the characters and twists and turns. Fans who I would guess would ultimately enjoy this game if it were simply a collection of short movies without any interactivity at all. This is Kojima’s vision. It’s your choice if you choose to be a part of it, but he’s going to do what he wants – controller in your hand or otherwise.
Afraid of bowling outdoors? Enjoy green spiders on golf courses? If not, or if so, keep reading to find out what the rest of the EVC population had to say about these crazy random topics!
Bowling or golf? Which is more of an athletic sport?
Bowling (40.8%) or Golf (59.2%)
This question had potential but ultimately it came down to one guy: Tiger Woods. Everyone knows who Tiger Woods is and everyone knows that he is an amazing athlete. Yes, we said it, athlete. Has anyone ever heard of a famous bowler? Let’s be serious, it’s not that bowling doesn’t require a certain physical dexterity but it just isn’t on the same level as golf. The funny thing is Puerto Rico going pink on this one. They have golf courses there so what is the problem?
Lesson Learned: The Puerto Rico Tourism Company needs to update their website.
Are you making a daily attempt to “go green”?
Yes (48.1%) or No (51.9%)
Wow look at the sudden bout of honesty that has infected EVC. Isn’t “going green” the cool thing to do nowadays? Apparently it is for the blue, err pink, states. The green states have another idea about the whole “world is melting” thing. Isn’t it ironic that the states that aren’t going green are actually green on the map? No? We found it amusing. In any case, either all the hippy states are lying or those other states need to get their act together and recycle a can or something. C’mon guys, it’s not that hard.
Lesson learned: Going green is for wussies.
Do you have any phobias (fear of spiders, heights, etc.)?
Yes (71.0%) or No (29.0%)
Ah, do you smell that? That’s the smell of honesty. It’s a sweet, sweet smell. Everyone is afraid of something, even if it’s something small, and insignificant – it counts as a phobia. What’s funny is males are less prone to phobias? Wait, no, males are more prone to lying about not having one! Hah, suckers. We know guys are afraid of all kinds of stuff, number one on that list is probably the wrath of females, so yea, y’all don’t fool us!
Lesson learned: Most common phobia is arachnophobia followed by social phobia.
We made it! Even with all our phobias and fear of sunshine we made it. It really is some kind of miracle. Whew, and now, off to play some Golf! See ya next week on the EVC roundup here at geeKeWL.
Ever had a craving for some rotten fish? You know, not sushi, but something nice and rotted. No? Well, this week we found out that there are some people who act on that craving and can’t get enough. Oh ya, also that EVC voters are a bunch of liars (ok, we knew that already).
Are you ambidextrous?
Yes (24.5%) or No (75.5%)
We seriously doubt that 25% of people are able to use their left and right hands equally, even if they’re Wii users who practice with their Nunchaku every day. Get real. Most likely 80 percent of those pink people didn’t know what ambidextrous even means. From all the statistics we could find on the internet the real statistic is probably more like 1 to 5 percent of people – so it would truly be incredible if the American EVC population is so skilled!
Lesson Learned: Mono-dexterity is a given!
In an elevator, do you stare at the floor numbers or at others?
Display of floor numbers (66.9%) At others (33.1%)
How rude, seriously. Of course they don’t mean getting into an elevator and facing inward from the door and staring everyone down – only people doing sociology experiments are that rude. I think people took this question to mean that they “people watch” while in an elevator. You might as well do something productive with your time - especially if it’s a long ride. Staring, however, is a really strong word that tends to invoke feelings of creepy awkwardness.
Lesson learned: Next time you’re in an elevator, turn around, someone might be watching you!
If it’s a warm, sunny day outside, would you view this with . . .
Optimism (79.6%) Pessimism (20.4%)
Didn’t they already do a glass half full or empty question? And could this question be any longer and more specific? What if it’s warm but not too sunny, or kind of hazy, or warm but later in the evening, then what? So basically this question is trying to ask a question that wouldn’t be very politically correct in a roundabout way: “are you a vampire?” Nintendo is very clever, never underestimate the Nintendo.
Lesson learned: Answer weird questions about the weather to be included in secret market research studies!
(World Poll) At mealtime, which are you more particular about?
Amount (19.7%) or Taste (80.3%)
Isn’t it funny how everyone craps all over the taste of food in England and they end up being 2nd on the list of countries that could give a crap about the taste of food? And what the hell are they eating over in Iceland anyway? Oh yea… sheep heads, rotten shark, ram testicles, seal flippers, and rotten stingray, yum!? Obviously taste isn’t an issue in that country. We also enjoy the fact that males care more about amount than taste – are we really so uncivilized? Perhaps a bit.
Lesson learned: Hákarl, Thorláksmessa, and Þorramatur – oh my!
Another week another set of crazy factoids we have ingested into our brainholes thanks to the EVC. Check back next week for more tidbits of EVC goodness!
