Sunday, August 3, 2008

Everybody Votes Channel - Results

What’s in a name? Apparently quite a bit! In this week’s EVC results we learn how seriously people take labels and why technology is cool, but only if it’s really small and useless. Read on, friends

Which application would be more useful on a cell phone?
GPS functions (69.7%) or Broadcast TV (30.3%)
You know, even we were a bit confused by this question – and we’re geeks! This is quite a leap from the usual “do you prefer lasagna or hamburgers” poll we are so used to seeing on the EVC. But anyway, it’s a decent question: would you rather chill in one spot watching TV on your phone or use it to find a TV? Considering you can find other things with your GPS too, like strip clubs and the nearest subway station the GPS functionality wins out amongst everyone in the USA – sweet.
Lesson Learned: Using your GPS to find a bigger TV is actually a pretty good idea.
How do your friends address you?
By a nickname (41.2%) or By your given name (58.8%)
We go directly from an all pink dominated map to an all green one. What significance does that have? Absolutely none! These results are interesting however. They remind us of a rarely discussed creature from the Jurassic period – the Stuckupasaurus (see below).
But yea, in general, most people don’t really go by nicknames unless they have nickname-able names, like Bartholomew and, uh, Christopher. Hmm, whatever!
Lesson learned: Nicknames are for kidz.
Do you prefer to take notes . . .
With a pen/pencil (60.7%) or On a PC/laptop (39.3%)
What the F is a pencil? And why are people in Montana so fascinated by them? Sure, females are 14% more likely to be enamored by their own curly Q’s and prefer taking notes (making pretty letters) by hand but why did the digital alternative lose by so much nationwide? Perhaps the EVC crowd isn’t quite as mature as we are led to believe – since high school students rarely take notes with a computer. Maybe it’s the arrogance factor: people who take notes on their computer look like douche-bags who are too busy showing off their Macbooks while they chat with friends instead of paying attention.
Lesson learned: The stigma of using a computer is real. Being a geek is tough!
(World Poll) Have you ever been swimming in the ocean?
Yes (78.8%) or No (21.2%)
The most interesting thing about these results isn’t the fact that “yes” won 80 to 20 but that people in Italy and Greece are afraid of the ocean! Aren’t these countries prime vacation spots for people who are indeed fans of ocean related activities? Oh wait, that’s the Mediterranean Sea, not ocean, woops! Err, ok then. Hey you Venezuelans what’s up with your fear of the ocean? Oh, your coast is actually the Caribbean Sea isn’t it? Woops. Dang, people sure do take their water labels seriously.
Lesson learned: A sea is part of an ocean but an ocean is not part of people’s definition of what a sea is!
So what did we learn this week? Well, we learned that names are very important. Whether it be Sea, Ocean, Jimmy, or James – names are serious business so be careful when talking to strangers about the names of things.  We also learned that being perceived as a geek by your fellow peers is unacceptable. This is why we need the ability to take notes on cell phones. Heck, if people are willing to use their phone as a GPS surely they will line up around the block to get a phone that lets you take notes on it. Pencils are the devil, friends – beware of lead and graphite!

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